You know the film / book ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It’? Well, I guess that typically sums up how I feel about my friend Mel Scott. For as long as I’ve known her, she has been studying to become a doula, volunteering with the NCT, plus raising a family of her own. It is her passion and dedication that has seen her through. If you want to be inspired, read on….
…I grew up in France and moved to England 15 years ago. I am married and have two little nutters: Liam, 6 and Luca, 5. Last year I left my work in publishing after 12 years in order to train and start my private doula practice. Because I had already been training as a Childbirth Educator (with the NCT) I already had an interest in the field and the two practices are quite complimentary. However they are completely separate entities and activities.
I offer Birth and Postnatal Doula services. Doula is a Greek word which means `woman servant or caregiver”. Practically, as a birth doula I meet with the mum and preferably her husband or partner too at least twice before the baby’s arrival so that we get to know each other, discuss the pregnancy, birth preferences and options, etc. I am then on call for four weeks around the baby’s due date and even longer if the baby decides to be fashionably late! On the big day I come as soon as the parents call me and stay with the couple throughout labour and birth. Some women want a hands on doula who will help by giving massages and so on and some prefer to just know they have an understanding and supportive person in the room who will not judge and won’t have any personal agenda. Additionally the doula can look after practical details such as fetching a sandwich and a drink for Mum and Dad to keep their energy levels up!
As a postnatal doula, I visit the new family in their own home for as long as they need me and I help by providing emotional support and companionship to mum. If required I also look after some practical day to day jobs from giving the house a quick tidy up, running an errand, entertaining the siblings and even bringing a chocolate cake. But the best part is to get a cuddle from the new baby! Basically I do what the mum’s mum would do… although I’m only 34, I kind of feel like I’m a grandma to the baby for a little while!
2. What inspired you to start?
When I expected my first baby, Liam, I didn’t have many friends with whom to share my pregnancy as most of them were not parents yet. I would have loved to have an experienced woman I could speak to and share my feelings with. My labour went well and I was working well with the contractions but I was aware that my husband was very anxious and worried about the baby and me. I could not reassure him because I was too busy labouring and I wish we had had someone familiar with us who would have told him “Don’t worry, Mel is doing just fine, the baby is coming soon, all is well”. If anything it would have made his experience of his baby’s birth a much better one.
When I expected my second baby, Luca, we decided to have him at home in a familiar environment. I also didn’t want to go to maternity and leave Liam (then only 16 months old) for a night or two. When my labour was established I asked my midwife and a friend of mine to come. My friend gave me lovely massages and filled the birthing pool up. My husband was feeding Liam and putting him to bed. I am sure that having such a fab support team helped me birth so easily.
Immediate postnatal life was difficult both times: When Liam was born I had never looked after anybody else than me and certainly not a new born baby. It was a steep learning curve! And when Luca arrived, although I had experience looking after a new baby, it was an altogether new challenge with a 16 months old to contend with! Both our families live abroad so it was up to the two of us to make things run smoothly. I wish I had known about doulas then because I would have welcomed one with my arms wide open!!
In my practice my main hope is to make parents’ memories of their pregnancy, birth and first few weeks with a new baby as beautiful as they ought to be.
3. I know personally that you have worked awfully hard to get to this point with working, volunteering with NCT and studying, what tips do you have on managing your time between family and work?
There is no doubt that it is hard, that’s many balls to juggle with. I try to plan ahead and be very organised and as I mainly work from home it makes things that little bit easier. I also use a little trick to remind myself which hat I am wearing at all times: I wear my glasses when studying, an apron when doing housework, sportswear when doula-ing and a smile when looking after my little boys! But my best asset is to have a supportive husband who makes himself available to step in when I am on call for a family.
4. What is the most rewarding aspect of running your business?
It’s like having a third baby! It’s a lot of work but very rewarding and you learn something new every day. Also going to bed in the knowledge that you have helped a family at such an important and exciting time in their life is the best feeling there is.
5. What do you like doing with the family on the weekend?
Having family abroad means that when they visit they stay for a while so we sometimes feel like we are running a guest house and work as tour guides but we enjoy it. On a quiet weekend we like to chill out at home however a favourite activity of ours is a day at the zoo although I sometimes joke that we have to buy two extra tickets to make sure they let our cheeky monkeys out again!
6. If you had the chance to self-indulge for a whole day, what would you do?
Oh, I wonder what that feels like, I can’t remember! I guess I would stay in bed with a good book and huge amounts of chocolate!
For more information about Mel’s services, you can contact her on 07908878552 or visit www.joiedevivredoula.com.
